Leading with Intention: Seeing the Unseen
People.
People are beautiful. People are hard. People need. People hurt. People hope. People fear. People love. People are beautiful.
People are my favorite thing about life.
Leaders.
Leaders are beautiful. Leadership is hard. Leaders are difficult to understand. Leaders need. Leaders hurt. Leaders hope. Leaders fear. Leaders love.
Leaders are people.
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Being what they call a reluctant leader, I’ve had to learn that people not only need me to be a good leader, they want me to be a good leader. This is a new experience for me, as much as it is a new experience for those I work with.
But how does one lead? And not only lead, but lead with compassion, kindness, and intention? How does one be a good leader?
As we internally wrestle with these questions, the fear of being a bad leader can creep in, creating a box of limitations in a leader's ability to grow.
So, what have I learned people want from a good leader? I’ve learned that people want (crave and even need) to be seen, heard, and believed in.
Have You Felt Unseen? What Does Seeing the Unseen Mean?
As someone who throughout my life has felt unseen, I know this feeling so well. It rips at your heart. It’s palpable. This feeling of being invisible creates a literal ache inside and an uncontrollable capture of anxiety that will likely have lasting effects. And it’s harmful.
At times, there’s a push, an inner necessity, to work tirelessly to be seen for doing more, being more, just to get some kind of validation that what we’re doing matters. And at the end of the day, it’s gut-wrenching to work so hard and still feel like no one cares.
To see this work matters. The harm of not seeing the unseen is detrimental to relationships, to people, and to the community. BUT the good news is, you can see the unseen.
As a leader leaning into this mentality of prioritizing recognition of the little wins, I have found so much joy in the subtle little ways of peeking into someone’s world and seeing them do their thing — see them trying, see them fighting, see them loving hard and fearing the unknown. And all the while, being filled with hope.
I believe the unseen is truly magical, and I love the discovery.
How Do You See The Unseen?
Seeing the unseen is easy. It’s everywhere, everyday. The hard part is stopping everything else to notice.
Look around. As busy people, we tend to step into a day and go full speed ahead, diving into our work or running here and there, failing to notice what’s going on behind the scenes. To avoid this natural pitfall, I started to try and think more as a friend by asking myself, “Where can I help?” I think about the people in my life, in my day, and in my inbox. Then I think, “How do I create space to be there?” I’ve found that simplicity is the best answer. Even a short text to check-in can go a long way.
Send a text to a person who has just come off vacation, “How ya doing friend? Feeling okay? Not too overwhelmed?”
Send a text to a person you work with but haven’t talked non-work related things with in a few days. “Have any new side art projects? I’d love to see!”
Send a message to a coworker, “I’ve been loving your work on this project. You’re truly the most talented designer I’ve ever met.”
Send a message to a coworker, “Hey friend, I don’t have much on my plate today, is there anything I can help with?” (They looked a little stressed on the check-in call, but don’t mention it, they don’t need to hear that right now.)
Send a message to the team, “Hey everybody I just want to give a shout out to this beautiful human. She is just crushing it on this project, and I feel so lucky we get to work with her.”
These may seem small, but if you’re seeing the unseen, they will be small in big ways. Imagine you’re waking up in the morning after a terrible night's sleep due to some Sunday night scaries. You’re having car trouble, you miscommunicated childcare (or pet care) arrangements with your partner, or you somehow deleted a presentation on your computer, and then….. a text message comes through…. DING.
“Hi Friend! I just wanted to say I’m so thankful for you. I can tell you really care about our work together and it means the world to me. I just love working with you, and I hope you know you’re loved. <3”
Now, imagine if everyone did this. Imagine if everyone took just a few minutes to look up from their phone to see people trying — to see the work, the love, the hope, the search for connection, and the fear. And what if they responded with, “I see you,” and then sent a note of kindness. Where would our world be?
In our business, these small acts have given us safety together to ask hard questions of each other, allowing us to grow through understanding. Seeing one another through this lens has also created an eagerness to do more for each other, which wow, is so much more sustainable and life-giving then working harder!
One of my most soothing perspectives to have during problem solving moments is this: “It’s all okay. There’s no need to be afraid. They’re just people too. We’re all just people being people.”
So Go Out There. See The Unseen.
I really hope that in sharing the value I’ve learned in seeing the unseen, people read this and we'll see more of this kind of leadership and unity around being real and human. I hope we see the value in slowing down to build each other up. To not work to do more but to care for each other better. Because to me, that’s what business is all about, caring for those we work for and alongside every single day.
Enjoy learning to see the unseen. I think it will surprise you the happiness it brings you and the ones you love.