A New Dawn of Friendship & Business

 

Ever heard the phrase, “Don’t mix friends and business?” If you’re a millennial or more seasoned (as I like to say), you probably have.

This has often been a conundrum for me — why mixing business and friendship is so frowned upon or seen as “unprofessional”. Because I find the best work we do is with friends and among friends and that it always leads to something beautiful. Something rewarding. 

Throughout the years - the ups and downs, the frustrations and the wins - what I’ve found to be consistently true is that friendship is good for business. Not the other way around. 

 

So what’s so unprofessional about the two coexisting “too much,” as they say? Let’s get into it. 

A modern day perception of team leadership dynamics 

“If you don't fear me, how can I be respected?” It’s an age-old argument that keeps rearing its head (even in some of our favorite shows!) Don’t believe me? Check out the dynamic in this roundup of quotes and statements from trending tv series we all love because, quite frankly, they make our favorite characters. 

John Dutton tells his son Kayce, "I never had much luck leading men and being their friend." - John Dutton, Yellowstone

“You can’t make a Tomelette without breaking some Gregs” - Gil, Succession 

“Romulus, when you laugh, please do it at the same volume as everyone else. We didn’t get you from a hyena farm.” - Logan, Succession 

“You don’t get what you deserve in this business, you get what you can take.” - Eric Tao, Industry 

"I'm not a superhero. I'm something more  powerful. I'm patient” - Bobby Axelrod, Billions

So where does this belief around intimidation and power over friendship stem from? I mean sure, having ambition and tenacity is a core personality trait for great leaders, but you can also be an effective leader without having to instill fear in others to gain that authority and respect. 

In my experience, I’ve never felt the need to push others down in order to define authority.  I’ve also never experienced any benefit from it when I’ve been exposed to it from others or pressured to present in this way. 

So why don’t we compare the metrics where friendship is leading business growth? I mean it's all about performance, right? At least that's how this perception of business practice is portrayed. But why can’t a good friendship be a metric too? Too fluffy, right? Ok well, then I’ll bring in some numbers (and cents) here. 

What does friendship offer in terms of business KPIs?

  1. Efficiency 

    1. Communication 

    2. Transparency

    3. Respect 

  2. Morale / Energy

    1. Connection

    2. Passion 

    3. Engagement 

  3. Performance  

    1. Focus

    2. Motivition 

    3. Commitment 

  4. Chemistry

    1. Creativity 

    2. Vulnerability 

    3. Opportunity

Since numbers and hard data are the definitions of good business (especially on a large enterprise level), I’d love to see us connect the friendship metrics to the bottom line. 

Efficiency: For one, we’re all looking to decrease time in business. Get faster! Do more with less time! (Enter artificial intelligence take over).

But haven’t you been on a badass team that shatters the efficiency metrics? You know what I mean. You can feel it in your tasks and in your day to day. You know stuff is getting done, and everyone knows who owns what and respects each other, because you and your team trust the people you’re working alongside. No one is internally wondering, “Hmmm is that my job?”, because they know the team they’re on or the people they’ve hired has got it. 

I call this the “I got your back” metric, and I have seen this time and time again grow a company’s growth by 30-60% in a year or less. It’s all due to the fact that there was no ego getting in the way — the friendships came first.

High morale + energy: This is another strong feeling that you know is occurring when it’s happening. You know how it happens? People are vibing! 

They’re becoming friends, and not in the “hey, nice hair today” kind of way, but the kind that brings you a casserole or orders a sweet care package for you when you have a big surgery. I’m talking about real friends that you don’t have to dress nicely around. They know who you are at your core and in your often messy, in my case (hello 2 toddlers), day-to-day life.  So to me, more besties is a great metric. 

Performance: Blah. This is a word I grapple with because it comes off cold and demeaning. Sometimes it really ruffles my feathers when I hear someone say it, BUT it describes a possible outcome of friendship. 

So, I’m transitioning my emotions around it, because when I watch my friends performing top tier,  I get motivated to do better and go bigger. I become more committed to getting it all done and the focus that drives me after I feel a friend showcase outstanding performance — it's magical. So this word, even though I’d consider it more “business” than friendship, it’s a real tangible thing we all love (whether we want to admit it or not). 

Chemistry: This is my favorite metric that comes from friendship. How can you not like a connective energy that is fully and soulfully created through genuine creativity and vulnerability? 

Opportunity is golden friendship 

The ultimate business-meets-friendship metric that comes out of chemistry is opportunity. 

I always make the joke that I got into business because I have never experienced a channel where I make as many new friends as I do than building a business. If you’re doing it right, friendship is the real outcome of pursuing your dreams.

And of course, friendship can lead to new business opportunities too, which is a very business-friendly word.

So there you have it, my synopsis on friendship and business and why I don’t only believe they can coexist together, they belong together. 

Now, who wants to get a beer?

 
Casey Nifong